Men's Fitness

Important Terms to Know

Tue, 06 Jan 2009 15:17:45 -0500

Understand your fellow gymgoers. The following are the first few entries in a crude dictionary I'm putting together of fitness lingo.

Jacked Big and muscular.

Damn... I just saw a picture of the Cowboys' Terrell Owens with his shirt off and that dude is jacked."

Or:

"Sean eats seven meals a day; he's getting jacked."

Origin: It probably derives from the image of jacking up a car--pumping your arms looks like you're inflating yourself.

Synonyms: diesel, pumped, and buff (although most guys don't say "buff" anymore). Similar to but not exactly synonymous with "yoked" (see "yoked" for more.)

Antonyms: small, stringy, puny, Urkel.

Editor's note: My friend and colleague, master trainer Joe Stankowski, once remarked to me that he had never heard the term "jacked" before he started writing for MF. I asked him what the midwest slang for a big guy was. He said, "big."

Ripped Having a high degree of muscle definition. More so than one who is "cut", but not as lean as one who is "shredded", such as a pro bodybuilder.

"Brad Pitt sure was ripped in Fight Club."

"Sean is jacked and ripped--that's so hot."

Origin: Probably derives from the idea that a ripped person looks like he or she has had all the body fat ripped off, leaving only pieces (muscles) behind.

Synonyms: chiseled.

Antonyms: fat, Gordita Supreme, John Goodman.

Meathead A dumb, insensitive clod who wears a wifebeater undershirt to the gym and whose life revolves around lifting weights, or at least banging them loudly on the floor. Also known to hit on various female gym members with lines such as "How you doin'?", and "lemme show you how to tone up your arms." He's an idiot, but can usually kick your ass.

"I wish that meathead would stop grunting, because I can't hear my workout mix."

"Sean is so jacked and ripped, you'd think he was a meathead, but he's not."

Origin: Big, muscular guys tend to resemble sides of beef. While being stupid is not a pre-requisite for being strong, strong guys often act dumb or belligerent when their testosterone is racing.

Synonyms: meatwad, dumb jock, Greg Tolan (brilliantly played by William Zabka) in the 80s classic, Just One of the Guys.

Antonyms: nerd, brain, CNN financial correspondent.

Yoked A big, muscular guy with a particularly distinctive trapezius and neck.

"That guy looks like he has no neck; he's yoked."

"Sean is jacked, ripped, and yoked, but he's not a meathead--he's amazing."

Origin: Football player or wrestler types like this look like they're wearing the yoke farmers put on oxen to pull heavy machinery.

Synonyms: no-neck, bad ass, "my bad for being in line before you got here; go right ahead"

Antonyms: skinny, scrawny, Andy Dick.

What To Look For in a Trainer

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 15:43:25 -0500

Next month, gym crowds will be at their peak due to the invasion of millions of New Year's resolution-aries. Many of these newbies will hire trainers for help, and consequently, many of them won't see results and quit. I've worked with over 100 trainers in my five years at MF, and have been impressed by very few. The following are some of my recommendations for determining what kind of trainer to hire or listen to.

Make sure he/she has experience. There's hardly anyone who writes for MF who hasn't been training people for at least 10 years. All the education, certifications, and gut instinct in the world can't substitute for having spent years in the trenches of fitness. Our training adviser, Jason Ferruggia, once told me, "A trainer shouldn't write an article until he's been working for at least five years. He shouldn't write a book until he's worked for at least 10." As with anything in life, the more you do it, the better you get. The more you understand. The sooner you can see the game from three moves ahead.

I've met far too many trainers who base their philosophies on the methods that worked for them personally, or on a handful of clients. Show me something that you've seen work on 500 clients of varying body types and levels of experience, and then we'll talk.

Don't judge the trainer by how he/she looks. I absolutely believe a trainer should walk the walk. You wouldn't take financial advice from a firm that consistently loses money (although that seems to have been the case for a lot of people as of late), so it only makes sense that your trainer should be in reasonably good shape himself and know what he's doing in the gym. But just because a guy is 225 pounds and ripped doesn't mean he's an authority on how you should train. Some people are just gifted genetically. Some people take steroids. Others have just learned what works for them. Everybody is different, and his program probably shouldn't be your program.

I've known a lot of great trainers who didn't exactly look like they were carved out of stone. Most of them did at one time, before wives, kids, long hours, or illness and injuries took their toll--but as long as they weren't grossly out of shape standing before me, I was willing to listen to them. More important than if your trainer is in shape is if his/her clients are. Did the trainer help a guy lose 50 pounds last year (and does the client look and feel better because of it)? Does he/she have clients who have the kind of size and definition that you're going for? Those should be your questions.

Know that less is more. If your trainer hands you a program that has you running around the gym for an hour or more, politely excuse yourself and find someone else. There's no reason your workouts--regardless of your goals--should last more than one hour. If the trainer wants to stand over you cursing, blowing whistles, and pushing you beyond the limit by physically helping you force out reps, that trainer sucks. Yes, you do have to train with intensity to see results, but every workout shouldn't be World War III. Some trainers feel like their clients will think they're getting better results if they beat the crap out of them in a session, but it doesn't work. It will make you hate exercise, and it will get you injured.

Don't be cheap. I know trainers that intentionally charge more than their competitors in order to discourage apathetic clients. Not only do they not want to work with people who aren't motivated to succeed, but they're that good, and they can get away with it. You can save a lot of money by hiring a trainer that gives you free sessions and other kinds of bonuses and goodies. But if that's what he needs to do to drum up business, he's not worth it. Paying more for a trainer increases the chance you'll get somebody good, and it will make YOU feel more of a need to get your money's worth.

Since your own level of motivation is the greatest factor in achieving your goals anyway, it makes that much more sense.

Happy holidays to everyone who reads this blog. And to those who don't... please start.

Bench Press fixes

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 13:13:25 -0500

Most of us have an unhealthy, abusive relationship with the bench press. You love it and you dote on it, placing it first in your workouts and visiting it every week. It's your most favorite exercise and, if given the choice, you'd forsake all other exercises for just one more night with it.

But the ungrateful bastard doesn't like you at all. For all your devotion, your max still sucks and your shoulders hurt. But, like any fool in love, you can't help yourself, and you can't live without it and the way it makes you feel.

While the bench press is widely regarded as probably the most dangerous free-weight exercise, I haven't completely forsaken it, and I'm sure you haven't either, so fools like us will have to make the best of it. To that end, I'll offer some tips to keep your shoulders healthy and strong so that you can bench for many happy years to come.

Treat the subscap

The subscapularis muscle is part of your rotator cuff. It rotates your upper arm bone forward and helps in pulling it closer to your body (the same motions that take place during a bench press). Lots of benching without an equal amount of pulling motions to balance this action leads to the subscap getting overworked. According to Dr. Ken Kinakin, author of Optimal Muscle Training (published by Human Kinetics), the subscap prevents your upper arm bone (humerus) from moving forward when the bar is at your chest, and this causes the pain you feel in the front of your shoulder after a heavy set. This undue stress creates scar tissue in the subscap over time, and weakens it.

Fix it by doing cable internal rotations. Make sure the cable is parallel to the floor and in line with your forearm when it's bent 90 degrees. Pin your upper arm to your side and rotate your arm in as far as it goes or until it touches your torso. Do 2-3 sets of 15 on each side. See a video of it here.

Treat the teres minor

Another rotator cuff muscle, this guy rotates the humerus away from and behind the body. In other words, it has pretty much the opposite function of the subscap. If too much benching has left your shoulders rounded and your arms unable to reach behind your back to the opposite shoulder blade, teres minor weakness is part of the problem. Set up as you did for the internal rotation for the subscap but have the cable start in front of your body and rotate your arm away from your side. Again, 2-3 sets of 15.

Think of these moves as a sort of couples' counseling session. They won't solve all your problems, but they'll make the bench press easier to live with.

Contenders or Pretenders, Volume II

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:17:51 -0500

Last season, the New York Giants surprised a lot of folks by winning the Superbowl over the New England Patriots, so there's no reason to think this season couldn't have the same surprise and intrigue come playoff time. We continue our ongoing look at which teams are faking it, and which will be a tough out in January.

Carolina Panthers - Contender
D'Angelo Williams and rookie Jonathan Stewart are absolute beasts, bowling balls with legs that bounce off of would-be tacklers. They lead the strength of the team, the running game, and open up opposing defenses for play-action passes to one of the most underrated receivers in football, Steve Smith. Their defense is stacked, with first-time Pro Bowler and University of Miami product Jon Beason roaming the middle and freak of nature Julius Peppers on the D-Line. If they beat the Giants this week, they could earn themselves home-field advantage throughout the playoffs. They've finished their regular season home schedule, and they're 8-0. So far.

Indianapolis Colts - Contender
This could be the scariest team in the AFC (besides Pittsburgh, who seems to never lose a close game). Peyton Manning is probably the MVP, so far, and there's still enough juice in Marvin Harrison to at least warrant coverage. There's too many weapons, too many Dallas Clarks, Reggie Waynes, too much experience, and too much of a sense of urgency for the Colts to not gel and continue their winning ways into the playoffs. They won the whole thing two years ago, and they're definitely the under-the-radar pick to go for two in three years.

New England Patriots - Pretender
There's plenty of people who want to anoint Matt Cassell the next big thing, and he's played admirably in Tom Brady's absence in Foxboro. But the Pats are on the outside of the playoffs looking in, and they'll need help to clinch a spot. If all three teams tied for first in the AFC East win this week, the Dolphins and the Jets will play next week to see who wins the division. And even if there's a flukey week (and it's not like we haven't had a lot of those this season...remember, Cleveland handed the Giants their first loss of the year) does anyone really think the Pats can go anywhere? Their defense is old and suspect, and there's not much of a running game to speak of. What's Welker going to catch, 110 balls? 115? It simply won't be enough in the end.

VW Touareg TDI hits the BAJA 1000

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 10:55:55 -0500

From guest blogger Amanda Amann (MF's Auto Babe)

One of the most exciting vehicles revealed at the LA Auto Show was the VW Baja Race Touareg TDI. It is an electrifying off road racing beast. As I was standing in the Volkswagen area trying to get a clear shot of the vehicle; I heard a someone say "Can I buy one of these here and take it back South America?" I couldn't help but chuckle.

I wouldn't mind racing through Venezuela with the Touareg either.

Fully equipped... The VW Race Touareg TDI is the first clean diesel vehicle to ever race at Baja.

The VW Touareg TDI was only available for viewing on the first LA Auto Show press day because she had a hot date in Baja.

The day after the LA Auto Show, I drove to Ensenada, Mexico. This was my first Baja 1000 and certainly won't be my last. Friday at 10:30am vehicles lined up at the starting line while photographers and spectators anticipated the beginning of the 41st Baja 1000.

The Baja 1000 is one of the most challenging races being that it's off and on road, 634.35 miles long, and takes place while the entire track is still open to the public. Not to mention the desert terrains which make for an even more challenging race. Each year there are injuries and even some deaths. The Baja 1000 is the world's longest non-stop race and has the most grueling terrain.

So who drove the Touareg you ask? Drivers Mark Miller and Ryan Aciero were the tough guys for Baja.

I rode in a helicopter a few miles down the track to experience first hand how fast the vehicles were going. The visibility was close to none considering the trail of sand and dirt the vehicle in front trails. I witnessed one four-wheeler run straight into a course pole. He reversed and then kept trucking. I must admit that was exciting. Locals were posted on the hoods of their cars to witness the thrills.

As for the VW Touareg TDI, there was a defective seal on the gearbox, which had to be replaced and effected their time. "Our aim for our first Baja 1000 was to finish the event with our all-new Touareg TDI - and we managed to do that. That's why we're really satisfied," said Volkswagen Motorsport Director Kris Nissen. "It was the toughest Baja I've ever driven, the track simply was mercilessly rough," commented Mark Miller, a multiple Baja winner, after arriving at the finish early Saturday morning (November 22, 2008). "At our very first running we immediately showed that the Touareg and the clean TDI technology are a powerful package."

The Touareg finished in 13th place. The clean diesel VW Race Touareg TDI certainly earned its stripes. Go Volkswagen!

Men's Fitness Auto Babe Amanda Amann is the co-host of Automotive Rhythms, which airs on BET J.

Contenders or Pretenders, Volume I

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 15:28:35 -0500

A lot's happened so far this football season. The Titans have dominated everyone (except the Jets, which isn't weird at all) with Kerry Collins, the Falcons and Ravens are in the hunt with rookie QBs, and the Giants are the first team in what seems like forever to not have a year-after-the-Superbowl hangover. While a few playoff spots are clinched, most are still up for grabs. So, three weeks from the playoffs, who's a contender, and who's just pretending?

Baltimore Ravens - Contender
They don't score enough on offense - a disproportionate amount of their points comes from defensive touchdowns, gadget plays, and Ed Reed - but you can't underestimate their toughness. Ray Lewis, as we've stated before, is as much of a workout freak as any linebacker in football, and he's likely played well enough this year to guarantee himself a shiny new contract after the season. With him anchoring the defense, and Reed ball-hawking in the secondary, they're going to be tough in the cold. And Joe Flacco's been okay, and he's confident, so look for him to keep them pointed in the right direction, rather than making mistakes to cost them big games. I still don't like them against Pittsburgh this week, but I think they're going to make the playoffs.

Denver Broncos - Pretender
Here's a weird one. They're a pretender who's going to make the playoffs. Barring a complete collapse - I believe they'd have to lose the rest of their games and San Diego would have to win the rest of their games - the Broncos will win the AFC West. Amazing, sort of. They light it up through the air when Jay Cutler's on, and they found a real gem with Eddie Royal, but they can't stop anyone. Of the following teams, who is going to lose to the Broncos in the playoffs: Indy, Pittsburgh, Pats/Jets/Fins, Titans, Ravens?

Answer: None of them.

Atlanta Falcons - Contender
This is the craziest story of the year, by far. People quickly forget just how bad things were in Atlanta last year. They lost their identity, basically, and were almost considered an expansion team after the whole Vick thing unfolded. Now check them out: Matt Ryan has turned out to be the real deal (he's single-handedly responsible for thrusting me into my fantasy football playoffs this year), and they have arguably the best running back in football, Michael Turner. And with a rookie head coach, not only are they competitive, they're in the running to make the playoffs. Carolina's going to win that division, but since the Falcons can run the ball 35, 40 times a game if need be, and since Matt Ryan is more a rookie Roethlisberger than a rookie Eli, they'll be right there.

Are you a Tweedle Dum Lifter?

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 11:50:57 -0500

The gym wasn't too crowded after work on Wednesday as I set up for my deadlift workout, which was fine. Less preening in the mirror, less, "it's all you, bro!" But in between sets, I became increasingly aware that even though there were less people on the floor, there seemed to be a larger presence dominating the space.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, hello.

You can spot these guys by their wife beaters, their winter hats, and their general enthusiasm for anything that involves a pair of 15 pound dumbbells. Basically, these are dudes that train like idiots, and they've gravitated to each other to make themselves feel better about their shitty workouts. They pull up their shirts to look at their abs in the middle of the gym. They flex their biceps amidst 18 sets of curls. They never, ever, EVER do squats, or anything involving their legs, unless it's the leg press. They love them some leg press, these guys.

I used to do a box in the magazine called "Gym Etiquette," where I'd dispense the rules of social interaction inside the weight room. Along those lines, a few rules we'd all really, really like you guys to follow:

Easy on the mirrors
There's nothing wrong with stealing a glance to see if you're pumped up. Hey, we're all human. But unless you're under 8 percent body fat and are preparing to step on stage in a few weeks, just spare us. If you're doing the ab pose thing, and you weigh under 150 lbs, those aren't abs, they're ribs.

Stop dropping the weights
True story: Sean Hyson (our Fitness Director and co-contributor to this fine blog establishment) and I had the pleasure of flying out to Venice Beach, California for a story on the history of Muscle Beach. Check it out here. We chatted with Ric Drasin, a former lifting partner of Ahnold's. He mentioned that Jake Steinfeld, creator of the Body-by-Jake equipment line (you may remember him from late-night infomercials such as this one), was kicked out of the original Gold's Gym for dropping weights and being kind of a loudmouth.

So, ask yourself, do you want to be more like the Body by Jake guy, or more like the guy who used to train with the best bodybuilder of all time?

We thought so.

(NOTE: If the weights are actually really heavy, feel free to drop 'em. Pushing 110 lb dumbbells on the incline bench? Yeah, that'll be hard to control after a set of 8-12. Curling the 60-pound fixed barbell? Just put it down, dude, and stop trying to draw attention to yourself).

To be strong, you must first be weak
I've heard this from a number of strength coaches that I've had the fine fortune or working with over the years. Nobody (except for two-time Mr. Olympia Jay Cutler) sits down on the bench and hits 315 pounds on his first set, ever. You've got to accept the fact that starting out, you'll be under the bar with 10s and 5s, and that's okay.

The fact is, we've ALL been there. So, instead of picking exercises that let you use more weight, like, I don't know, the leg press (seriously, can't everyone load like a million plated on that thing and push it?), you should be trying to do harder exercises, like the front-squat, or the Bulgarian split-squat, with less weight. No one will laugh at you for doing what you think is light weight. We will laugh at you for thinking that curling 25-pound dumbbells is so awesome that we all need to hear about it for the next ten minutes.

Got your own set of rules you'd like to see instituted? Sign up and comment below.

College Football is Broken, Not as Awesome as it Could Be

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:16:11 -0500

After the Big-12 tiebreaker debacle unfolded, leaving Texas on the outside of the National Championship picture looking in, it became clear that we're ready for a college football playoff.

Some tried to parade Florida vs. Alabama in the SEC title game as a national semifinal, the best we could hope for, which was a) true, and b) a very, very good game, but still, it was a complete accident that it worked out like that. In another year, maybe there's three teams in the SEC and the Big-12 that deserve playoff football. What then?

There's no system in place to ensure that a team will get a chance to play for a title if it's truly earned the right to do so. Schedule questions aside, Utah and Boise State have a similar, if not as intense, a gripe as Auburn did in the first year of the BCS. Back in 2004, the Tigers went undefeated in the SEC and didn't get invited to the BCS title game. Oklahoma and USC were also undefeated, and only two teams could face off for the title. Before 2004? There wasn't even a title game. Teams just played their bowls, be it Fiesta, Sugar, or Cotton, and then there was a vote. Seriously, that's how they used to decide the National Champion.

This year, two undefeated teams will not get to play for the big one. Utah was snatched up by the Sugar Bowl, which is nice, but Boise was left out of the BCS all together in favor of a sloppy, unreliable Ohio State team. It's all about money, and more Buckeye fans will come out than will Boise fans, so they're the more attractive choice. The bowls do pick their own teams, you know. This, in a sport where an athlete accepting a cheeseburger off the dollar menu could lead the school to be fined and sanctioned, or the kid publicly mocked and humiliated, much less devalued in the eyes of pro scouts.

So it's not likely to happen, but a playoff system is absolutely the way to go. Think March Madness is the best sporting even of the year? Imagine how amazing a 12-team college football playoff would be.

Sports Illustrated went way out of their way to cook up a hypothetical, and as sad as it is that hypothetical playoffs make more sense than the actual bowls - seriously, who is going to watch Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech? - it's actually perfectly constructed and very satisfying. We've heard people float theories about a football Final Four (actually, we haven't, but it's an awesome idea) or an eight team bracket, but someone always seems to get left out. SI's 12-team idea is the best I've seen.

Check it out here.

Their idea: Take the six winners of the BCS conferences (MF NOTE: As long as you mandate that all six institute conference championship games), and add the next six highest-ranked teams. Give the first four teams a bye, which adds incentive to win every week, and then play it out.

You could even keep the bowls in tact and use them as semi-final games, rotating which bowl gets the title game every year.

Honestly, I just don't understand how this hasn't happened already. Fire up the XBox until it's a reality, I guess.

Or maybe, it's closer to the end than we think.

What Men Want (From Women in the Gym)

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 15:05:41 -0500

I made a post before Thanksgiving that started a little controversy.

Awesome.

I was simply making the observation that a lot of women you see in gyms don't appear to be following any kind of plan--they just go in haphazardly and do a few random exercises that don't get them anywhere. I may be wrong, but I feel like this is more often the case with women than men.

Anyway, some dedicated gym-rat women who work in my office read it and took offense. I came to work the next day to find a scarecrow in my likeness being burned in effigy on my desk. The punishment got worse when they stopped putting in a good word for me with their attractive young friends. (One of these co-workers, Jenna Autuori, assistant to the editor-in-chief at our sister magazine, Shape, was even moved to write this.)

Even if this world-shaking discussion somehow managed to escape your attention in the midst of government bailout negotiations and the OJ sentencing, I feel the need to follow up. Now I wouldn't say I speak for all men out there. I'm not a huge sports fan, I've never seen an episode of 24 or the Jason Bourne movies, and I maintain some (though few) standards when I drink. Still, I feel like most guys would agree with me on the following.

Ladies, please...

Don't tell us your trainer is "the best" when you look EXACTLY the same as you did six months ago when you hired him/her. If your goal was not to change a thing about yourself, why did you pay someone to beat the crap out of you for an hour, three days a week? If you did everything the trainer said to do and you still look like you need a trainer, it's not your fault, it's the trainer's.

Don't be afraid to enter the weight room. Yes, the areas with the treadmills and the big inflatable bouncy balls look more inviting, but you're not going to change your body there. You really won't. Even though some of the guys in the weight room look like they could kill you, they really just want to hit on you. And while that could be a fate worse than death in some cases, it's worth the risk. Learn to love, lift, and rely on free weights.

Don't do any kind of deadlift with your back rounded over. It hurts us just to watch, and it will hurt you too one day. Failing to keep your lower back in its natural arch when you bend forward at the hips with a barbell in your hands places a lot of pressure on the discs between your lower vertebrae. It can lead to a herniation.

Don't do chest flyes thinking that it will make your boobs bigger or support them better. Well, you can do them when we're looking, but don't spend too long on it. Chest exercises have been said to improve the look of the breasts, but it's not because they have any effect on the shape of the breasts themselves--the pectoralis muscles underneath are what get worked. And pressing exercises are better than flyes.

Don't come to the gym with your boyfriend. It ruins the view.

I expect Jenna or others will be back with their lists of what they want from guys, and I'll probably leave tonight and find my car has been shaving creamed, but what the hell.

Why the NY Giants won't miss a beat without Plax

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 16:19:16 -0500

By now, I'm sure you've heard about this. Giants star wide receiver Plaxico Burress went out to a club in midtown Manhattan last week, carrying an unlicensed, loaded handgun in the waist band of his sweatpants.

This really does sound like the set-up to a bad joke, right?

Except it's not. So Burress gets to the The Latin Quarter (located on Lexington Ave and 48th street in NYC), accompanied by LB Antonio Pierce and RB Ahmad Bradshaw, and they let him in, knowing full well who he is. Their only request? Please unload the illegal gun before bringing it inside. Easy enough, right?

Except not so much. Burress shot himself in the leg, so now he's gone, suspended for the rest of the year, the playoffs, and possibly forever.

I'm not going to get into the social implications of athletes feeling threatened enough (or wanting to feel powerful enough) to bring loaded guns out with them at night, and we're not here to get into whether or not Antonio Pierce will keep playing and be effective down the stretch (he will, no worries), amidst Mayor Bloomberg's cry for blood in the ongoing investigation. That'll get sorted out eventually, but the Giants will keep right on chugging through one of the hardest schedules in football and continue dominating their opponents.

Some think Plax was too valuable, that losing him will be too much for the Giants to overcome, that the distraction is too much for the team to bear. The reality is the team has already moved past Burress. You could make the case (and Mike Lupica of the NY Daily News has, repeatedly) that he played one of the best games a receiver has ever played in last year's NFC Championship game at Green Bay - 11 catches for 154 yards - in one of the coldest games ever in NFL history, against a very good bump-and-run corner, Al Harris. Since catching the game-winning TD in the Super Bowl two weeks later, things have just not been the same. His production hasn't been there all season. Week one, against the 'Skins, Plax was Plax, catching ten balls for 133 yards. The next week against the Rams in St. Louis, he caught five balls, and hasn't caught that many in a game since.

The Giants offense clicks with multiple parts. They're better off without a T.O.-mold who needs and craves attention multiple times a game, and this season, during their impressive march to a league-best 11-1 record, they've gone to a number of different guys. Don't think Sinorice Moss and Domenik Hixon are chomping at the bit to finally prove they belong as a top-four option on an NFL team?

They'll miss Plax, all right. They'll miss him the same as they miss Tiki Barber, the Giants all-time leader rusher (with 10,449 yards), who retired after the 2006 season. All the Giants did in the first year without Tiki was win a Super Bowl over the greatest offensive team of all time. They won it without another superstar, Jeremy Shockey, a four-time Pro Bowl tight end who broke his leg and missed the playoffs. He was traded to the New Orleans Saints for two draft picks, a second and a fifth-round choice, in the off-season. His replacement, Kevin Boss, filled in admirably once Shockey went out for the year, and leads the team in TD catches and awesome hurdles so far this season.

Then, remember when DE Michael Strahan retired, and everyone thought their pass rush was dead? And then, in training camp, Osi Unemyiora went down on a fluke play and was lost for the year? They were supposed to really be screwed then, right?

They're 11-1 this season, not by accident, and without major contributions from any of the guys listed above. If they win on Sunday at home against the completely inept Eagles, they'll lock up all kinds of post-season goodies. And they will win, because Coach Tom Coughlin has the entire roster, down to the practice squad guys, believing that the team is bigger than themselves. They've moved ahead without stars before. I don't anticipate them changing the plan now.

The NBA Through Unpaid Eyes

Fri, 05 Dec 2008 12:02:05 -0500

The NBA Through Unpaid Eyes is a weekly blog by Men's Fitness intern extraordinaire and wealth of basketball knowledge Collin Orcutt.*

*The two statements expressed about Collin's intern and basketball prowess are not necessarily those of MF. Nor are they necessarily correct. Except for the unpaid part.

The horn is sounding the end of the season's first quarter, and the the league's structure is slowly coming into focus as the early season madness dissipates. The Cavs have insisted we consider them one of the league's powers with 15-3 record, good for second in the East. Dallas and New Orleans (winners in eight of their last nine and five of their last six games respectively) look to have shaken off the early season funk. And the Knicks decisively showed that there is nothing decisive about any person, player or front office rep, in the entire organization. To quote Knicks color man Walt Frazier, we're off to an "auspicious" start.

Is Phil playing Zen mind games?
I've predicted the Lakers will win 72+ this season. On Wednesday, Phil Jackson said the Lakers wouldn't even come close. Mike Bresnehan, who reported the article, wasn't under the impression that Jackson said this to hype his team up.

I'm not so sure. Jackson's rationale is that the Lakers will experience too much travel fatigue on cross country trips to have a real shot at 72 wins. We're supposed to believe that? Jet lag? Lets be honest, Jackson is the NBA coaching equivalent of Yoda mixed with The Brain. I see no reason why a) this isn't another Jackson ploy to get the most out of his team and b) the Lakers won't break the record.

Already there are signs pointing in their favor, most notably their last second loss to the Pacers on Tuesday. Why is that a favorable sign? The Pacers were the only team to beat the Bulls twice during their historic season in '95-96.
New West Order
The Blazers, who missed the playoffs last year, sit in second place in the Western Conference while the perennial best-of-the-west Suns are on the verge of self destruction.

It's no surprise that the Blazers are good, but it is surprising how good, how quickly. They're so confident in their progress that Brandon Roy says they're looking forward to facing Boston tonight, a team that mentally had them hiding under their beds last season, so they can measure themselves against the NBA's best.

Meanwhile, the Suns are walking downers, spewing negative quotes to reporters on a near daily basis. Nash said the team is in a "dark place," Shaq said he's not the team's problem, pointing out (incorrectly) that he's only getting five shots a game and is "programmed" to play any style of ball (which now includes .500 style I suppose) and Amare Soon-to-gone-emire thinks he should be the team's feature player like LeBron and DWade are on their squads.

This could get interesting.
Latest Knicks Knocks
I can't help it at this point. I am completely obsessed with the Knicks runaway train of a season. It's like reality TV for me at this point: mindless entertainment I know I shouldn't watch but somehow end up invested in anyway.

Since I last blogged, Marbury got dissed by Q-Rich, equated himself to a soldier in World War II and showed up late/stormed out early of a buyout negotiation meeting.

Oh yeah, and apparently bought a plane.

In other team news, Cuttino Mobley is considering medical retirement after meeting with heart specialists. Who would have thought that of the two players in the Clippers trade, it would be Mobley, not Thomas, with a heart issue?
What the hell is a Zephyr?
Oh, it's a banged up, bottom-dwelling, overtalkative/underachieving team. I should have known.

Stay in Shape, and Stay Employed

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 14:19:31 -0500

We have sort of a running joke at Men's Fitness that once you start working here, you quickly fall into the worst shape of your life. I'd guess that there's a similar problem where you work. Here are a few ideas on how to not let a stressful job and long hours wreck your fitness.

Train in the morning. Yeah, I know. You "can't" get up early (waaah, waaah!). I decided to start doing it when I first began working at MF, after years of hitting the gym after five o'clock. A year later, I still hadn't gotten used to it. Two years later, I still hadn't gotten used to it. To tell you the truth, I'm not used to it now, and I would much prefer to get that extra hour or two of sleep. But the reality is that if you train after 8-10 hours on the job, especially if your job is the least bit physical, you're going into the gym at a disadvantage. Sometimes, you're just flat-out beat. When you go in the morning, you get it out of the way. You can meet people for drinks that evening with a clean conscience. You also get your metabolism going at a faster rate earlier in the day, and that means you can burn more fat throughout the day. Try working out at seven or eight in the morning if you can.
Pre-pack your food. Most fitness addicts spend most of Sunday cooking meals to last the week, and sometimes do it again Wednesday night if they run out of food before. Invest in glass containers (of course you could go the Ziploc route as well, but with all the reports about the dangers of plastics, including that they are estrogenic, you might want to avoid them). It doesn't require as much work as it seems. Case in point, I started buying frozen chicken breasts in bulk from Trader Joe's. Defrost them in the microwave, then cover with bbq sauce and cook them in the microwave. It takes only minutes and you've got five or so chicken breasts ready to go. Wrap em and pack em.
Keep snacks in your desk. Even if you're trying to lose weight, this is a good strategy. A lot of times you'll look up at the clock and suddenly realize you haven't eaten in four hours (or done actual work, if you're hooked on Youtube). You've simply got to keep the metabolism going, and that's done by eating at regular intervals. Nuts, seeds, beef jerky, and dried fruit will all keep in your desk drawer for a long time. Reaching for them may also prevent you from overeating at lunch, if you remember to take one.
Use your chair. Chairs can be evil. Sitting in them for so many hours leads to tight hips and subsequently lower-back pain. At least make some good use of that ass pedestal by stretching. Cross one leg over the other and push down on the crossed leg's knee. Try to get the lower leg parallel to the floor. If you can't, you have a tight hip. Hold that position and work on it. Another stretch is leaning backward over your chair to stretch out your lats. There are many more stretches you can do with a chair, but I know you don't want to look stupid and have your co-workers thinking you need a vacation (although that could have its perks). Try those two for now.
Befriend your co-workers. Get in good with the people you work with so they'll bring you food. You should have one or two people you share meals with. Maybe one person brings in a healthy dish for all of you one day, the next person does it the next day, and so on... or, you can all bring in basic ingredients and fashion a meal together in your office kitchenette. For example, you bring some veggies, another person brings chicken, and somebody else brings some nuts or berries, and now you combine them to make an awesome salad. Date these people if you have to, promote them even if they're unqualified, but get a community food service going as soon as you can. It will save you time on weeknights.

Get With A Program

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 11:39:35 -0500

There's probably no other pursuit that people enter into with more ignorance than lifting weights. If you wanted to plant a garden, you wouldn't just throw some seeds aimlessly in your backyard and pour water on them. If you wanted to tune up your car, you wouldn't start tooling on it with a monkey wrench and hope for the best. That would be stupid, right?

So why do people take such a cavalier and illogical attitude when it comes to their own bodies? Especially when the activity is lifting dense iron objects that have the potential to crush your face. It's idiotic. Going into the gym with no plan and doing what you feel like, or worse, thinking you know exactly what to do without having had any kind of instruction first on how to train yourself spells doom. Sooner or later, you will get injured and you will get nowhere.

Like many of you, I was once a complete idiot in this regard, too. My philosophy was like so many other people's: "Ok, I'll go in and do a little of this and a little of that. Couple sets of curls and, when I'm tired, I'll go home." For any ladies out there reading this, I have to tell you that you're the worst offenders. I see so many women whose thinking seems to go like this:

"I know I need to work out. I know I'm supposed to lift weights. I don't want my chest to sag when I get older, so I'll do the chest fly machine. I want toned arms, so I'll do curls. I don't want to look like a man, so I have to lift light weights. How many reps was that? Felt like 20. I want to get leaner, so I'll jog on the treadmill for 20 minutes. Wow, what a workout. I really killed myself today."

No, you didn't. You were active and burned calories, and that's nice, but you didn't set any goals, your workout was unbalanced, you didn't keep any records, and you have no idea how to improve your performance the next time out to make sure your body adapts.

Here are some of the basics on how to work out:

You have to follow the law of progressive resistance. This isn't optional. If next week's leg workout doesn't find you lifting heavier weights or performing more total reps than this week's did, you wasted your time. Your body is placed under no extra demand, and will not change. The same goes for cardio. If you don't run harder or longer, you don't get leaner or more cardiovascularly fit.
You have to train the whole body. The sport of bodybuilding has poisoned our minds with the notion that we have to do just arm exercises to train the arms, just leg moves for the legs, and if we don't regard our backs as a priority, we can give them much less attention or skip them entirely. Wrong. If you get nothing else from this post, let it be this: it doesn't matter what your ultimate goal is (big arms, a flat stomach, a 400-pound bench press), you have to train every major muscle group with equal enthusiasm to get there. Don't like doing squats? Tough. I bet you don't like being fat and weak even more.
You must keep a log of what you do in the gym. It's the only way to know for sure if you're beating your old records. You should also take measurements to see if your waist is shrinking/muscles are growing over time. Otherwise, you're just guessing. Things you think are working could be doing nothing. Things that are working you may not even notice. Take a pen and a pad or notebook to the gym and write down sets, reps, rest periods, weights you used, levels on the treadmill you got to, etc.

"Golly," you might say. (Well, I hope you wouldn't use the word "golly", but you get the idea.) "That's a lot to remember. How can I make sure I do all that stuff to make progress?" It's simple. Get on a program, preferably one that you've seen in Men's Fitness or something that's written by a qualified trainer who has several years of experience, a college education, and a certification from a respectable organization like the ACSM, NSCA, or NASM.

The strongest, fittest, most knowledgeable athletes and trainers in the world follow programs written by other people. It's not really something you ever graduate from. A common excuse I hear is, "well, I know my body...". Most people don't know their bodies at all! They have no idea how they respond to certain exercises or what they need to do to achieve X goal. Therefore, they shouldn't have an ego about it. Put your trust in somebody who's trained a bunch of people and gotten good results for them. More than likely, you're not that special and what they've used that worked for other people will work fine for you.

And when you're on a program, don't touch it! Don't think that your arms won't grow from two sets of biceps curls, so you need to do five sets instead. You're defeating the purpose. Do what you're told, and reap the benefits.

End of sermon.

LA Auto Show

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 08:00:00 -0500

From guest blogger Amanda Amann (MF's Auto Babe)

Christmas came early for me this year. And how you ask...The Los Angeles Auto Show. I was waiting for the doors to open like it was a New Kids On The Block concert in 92'. I assume not too many of you know what I'm talking about--but you get the idea.

Of course, I started with the exotic vehicles. The Ferrari F430 was absolutely stunning.

Porsche unveiled the new Boxter in a traditional candy apple red.

Mercedes released the GLK Urban Whip which scream super-masculinity. If you want to feel like 50 Cent drive this for a day. Groupies are sold separately.

Ford released the Ford Fusion, which is known for it's great mileage economy. Most manufacturers are going green with clean diesel, hybrid, or electric vehicles.

Speaking of clean diesel, I was also able to get up close and personal with the clean diesel VW Touraeg racing four-wheeler. It will be competing in the Baja 1000 in Mexico. Keep a look out for my next blog on my loco Baja trip!

Men's Fitness Auto Babe Amanda Amann is the co-host of Automotive Rhythms, which airs on BET J.

The NBA Through Unpaid Eyes

Fri, 21 Nov 2008 15:57:02 -0500

The NBA Through Unpaid Eyes is a weekly blog by Men's Fitness intern extraordinaire and wealth of basketball knowledge Collin Orcutt.*

*The two statements expressed about Collin's intern and basketball prowess are not necessarily those of MF. Nor are the necessarily correct. Except for the unpaid part.

It seems like every year the NBA season starts off with a ton of hype but within a few weeks the excitement wanes. Blame it on the NFL and college football ramping up, college basketball tipping off, or the NBA season's freshness fading away. Whatever the reason, it seems like it's not until All-Star Weekend that the NBA regains fan's undivided attention. This season, though, there's been more than enough drama to keep even the most one-track minded fan paying close attention. Here are some of the most recent story lines:

Cuban's worst move since letting Nash get away?
I never thought I would be able to find a link between Martha Stewart and Mark Cuban. Then again, I never thought I would mention Martha Stewart in a Men's Fitness blog either. Anyway, by now, I'm sure you've heard all about the Cuban insider trading scandal.

As of when I'm typing this, it looks as though Cuban wasn't in the wrong for selling his shares of Mamma.com stock. Some sources even think he will win the case as long as he didn't make a promise of confidentiality to Mamma.com CEO Guy Faure during their 2004 phone conversation.

What has been overlooked in this whole escapade, though, is that Cuban's alleged insider trading is the closest thing to a post presence for Mavs since Cuban took over the team. Whether or not he is found guilty, that's the kind of proactive ownership that's got to make Dallas fans feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Knicks eye the future
Can you imagine being so good that teams completely reshape their roster nearly 2 years in advance of your free agency just for the chance to spend millions on you?

The Knicks did just that today, trading away ~~Jamal Crawford, Zach Randoph, and Mardy Collins~~ 2 large contracts expiring in 2011 for ~~Al Harrington, Tim Thomas, and Cutino Mobley~~ 3 contracts expiring in 2010, the year the LeBron James comes off the books.

The move leaves the Knicks with a much different roster after shipping away their two top scorers. In fact, I'm not even sure who's starting. I would assume David Lee and Tim Thomas will start as their "bigs," with Harrington, Mobley, and Duhon as the guards, but you never know with D'Antoni's affinity for Q Rich.

I would try and analyze the trade a little bit more, but it doesn't make sense to. The trade happened for one reason only, and it wasn't to create a logical roster.

Enjoy your wait, Knicks fans. You and Steph can watch together.
The Indelible Gilbert
In breaking news (unintentional), I realize that I have been grossly wrong about Gilbert Arenas. For the last two season, I thought he was made of glass. It turns out that he was in fact made of wax. Silly me.

In other insanity, Gilbert said that the Wizard's record--more exactly how far out of the playoff race they are--could be a determining factor in his return date (which has once more been pushed back, now to January of 2009).

And he got a tattoo.

Excuse me if I yawned while typing that, but if Arenas doesn't get back on the court for real this time, he'll probably be spending his Friday nights playing X Box with his wax self. Which would be sad, but not altogether surprising for Gilbert.